Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
