I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just high enough for therapy.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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