dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I didn't notice because vodka
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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