I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude i'm inner monologue high
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
