i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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