I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
