she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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