I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
