in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
