You really coming over, don't trick.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just cropdusted the office
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
