Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
