So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
