so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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