You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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