Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize