got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
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This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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