Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize