just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
