that's an acceptable place to lick
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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