Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize