Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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