I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My balls are so social today.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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