I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He felt like a one man threesome
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
