do herpes really smell.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize