I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
