Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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