alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
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