all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
