I could make wine with my vomit
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
