I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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