My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
