Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize