Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
