Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
