So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
