Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
