After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
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