capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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