im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize