Duck Duck Cougar?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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