Duck Duck Cougar?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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