i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
