Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
