ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
