I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
