I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
