dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I love black thongs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
