So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
