Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
