I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
