Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dick very happy bro
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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