Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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