she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
