I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
