We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
